As wives God gives us specific roles in our marriage that glorify Him. We are to:
…love our husbands (John 13:34-35 + Titus 2:3-5)
…respect our husbands (Ephesians 5:33)
…submit to our husbands (Ephesians 5:22, 24 + 1 Peter 3:1-2)
But what does that mean practically? Today I will be focusing on loving our husbands by sharing simple steps to encourage your husband everyday… even when you don’t feel like it!
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As a new wife I truly had no idea what I was doing! I was immature, selfish and did not understand what my role was as a wife.
We went through premarital counselling, but I believe new wives need more direction!
It wasn’t until I personally took to His word to study the role of wives, that I really began to understand what my role and responsibilities are.
Among those responsibilities is to love our husband.
” A new commandment I give you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
~ John 13:34-35
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behaviour, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
One simple way to love our husbands is to encourage our husbands every day!
Below are some simple steps to encourage your husband! I hope they help strengthen your marriage xo
Simple steps to encourage your husband
1) Words of Encouragement
Use your words to uplift your husband in private and public.
Tell him how much you appreciate him. Take time to notice what he does and thank him for it.
But don’t forget to talk about your husband in a positive light to others too!
2) Pray for your Husband
When your husband is away and even when he is sitting right next to you, you can encourage your husband by praying for him.
Our marriage always changes for the better when I remember to pray for my husband throughout the day. It always changes my heart towards my husband.
Here are a few verses to pray for your husband:
- That he would lead and glorify God in his role in your marriage (Ephesians 5:25-29)
- That he would be full of patience and peace (Romans 14:19)
- That he would grow spiritually through reading, studying and prayer (2 Peter 3:18)
For more prayers check out the book 15 Verses To Pray For Your Husband.
3) Be on his team!
A quick way to encourage your husband is to pick your battles. We are not here to be road blocks for our husbands. Our role is to help them! So don’t debate and nitpick every single thing! Be wise to discern what are true concerns and what are just differences of opinion.
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
~ Proverbs 21:19
4) Let him lead
God gave husbands and wives very specific roles in marriage. One way to encourage your husband is to support his role by letting him lead.
When we push back against Gods design not only do we make it harder on our husbands, but we make it harder on ourselves too.
3 Practical ways you can let your husband lead:
- Always consult your husband before making important decisions
- When your husband asks you to do something gladly do it (as long as he is not asking you to sin).
- Ask your husband when you have questions about scripture
5) Embrace your biblical role as a wife
Take time to learn what your role is as a wife and be content with Gods design for your life. Study the scriptures and read biblically sound books about our role. Later in this post I have included some of my personal favourite books that have helped me learn to be a better wife.
6) Ask him about his day
When your husband finishes his work day take time to give him your full attention and ask about his work day. Remember to pay attention! Learn his coworkers names, learn his bosses names, and learn what he does. This will make it easier to ask questions.
7) Prioritize his wants
What is one thing you know irritates your husband around the house. Is it a messy dining table? Dirty floors? Clothes not put away? Whatever it is prioritize it in your daily homemaking routine.
If you just don’t know what your husband would like just simply ask your husband, “Is there anything I can do to make your day easier?”.
8) Spice it up
One of the most wonderful gifts of marriage from God is intimacy! So send your husband a flirty text letting him know that you are desiring him. Then prepare for the evening so that if your husband is also in the mood you can be intimate. You can prepare by making sure the bedroom is clean and tidy, you have done your personal grooming and that dinner is simple so you don’t burn yourself out.
How to encourage your husband When you just Don’t feel like it?
Let’s face it, it is easy to encourage someone when you are in a good mood. But what about when you just don’t feel like it?
These are the times that encouraging your husband matters the most. Maybe you just had an argument… You are just feeling lazy… Or it is that time of the month. Either way making the effort to encourage our husbands even when we don’t feel like it is how we show true biblical love and respect towards them.
“We love because he first loved us.”
~ 1 John 4:19
“…let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.”
~ Ephesians 5:33
Books That Have Helped Me Learn to Be a Better Wife
The Excellent Wife – If there is one book you read make it this one!
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