In a culture that looks down upon getting married before 25, I want to take a moment to challenge the narrative! In this post I will look at 11 myths about getting married young and my personal experience with getting married at 22!
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I always thought I would get married at 25 after establishing a career. Then settle down and start a family. BUT God had other plans! My husband and I got engaged when I was 21 and in my last semester of university. Then less than six months later when I was 22 we got married!
This year we will be celebrating our 4th anniversary, celebrating our daughters 2nd birthday, and welcoming another little blessing to our home in the spring!
Marriage has been one of the most wonderful things in my life and I would choose to get married young again in a heartbeat. But marriage has also been a huge learning curve that God has used to grow both of us. This has required us to practice and learn: how to communicate, patience, setting healthy boundaries, and so much more! Now let’s dive into 11 myths about getting married young!
11 myths about getting married young
1. What about your career?
Getting married does not have to stop you from getting a career. But if you want to be a full time traditional homemaker then (in my opinion) you get to have the best career of all and you are not missing out one bit! I am so grateful that I was able to become a full time homemaker right out of college and didn’t have to enter the workforce.
2. You will grow a part
We’ve heard it argued that as you grow older you will begin to grow a part as you become different people. But you actually have a beautiful opportunity to grow together as you grow up! Yes no matter what you will be different people than when you first got married, but you and your husband have a choice to intentionally choose each other during this process.
3. The sex will be terrible
Anyone else hear that you will be missing out! I like to say that I have successfully avoided years of pain and let downs. Before becoming a christian I briefly experienced a piece of the worlds standard for sex and let me just say it is not fun, it is lonely, and it will leave you feeling empty. Before meeting my husband I became a Christian and the Lord has blessed our sex life. We waited for marriage and it was SO worth it! Now we get to learn together and feel secure in our relationship.
4. It will never last
It is true the rate of divorce now a days is extremely high, but getting married young does not sentence you to divorce. As I have said before, marriage takes work and it will take work no matter when you get married. So make sure you are prepared!
5. You will have a difficult time keeping friends + making new ones
I was one of the first people out of my friends to get married and as long as you make an intentional effort you will stay friends! Of course you will drift a part from some people, but those you stay close with your relationship will become so strong!
If you are not a part of a church that has a lot of younger people it can definitely be difficult to find other married couples your own age! But it is not impossible it just takes time and honestly being open to making friends with people of all different ages! In almost every one of my friendships I am the youngest and it really doesn’t matter.
6. You will fight all the time
No matter what age you get married, you will learn very quickly in the first year of marriage how you and your spouse deal with conflicts. What you do with that information will determine if you fight all the time. Turn to scripture, pray together, and talk with each other when things are calm to work through your conflicts.
7. You are too immature to get married
All I have to say to this point is: age does not equal maturity!
8. You need to live together first “Try before you buy”
Just no. You do not need to live together before you get married to have a successful marriage. What you do need to do is premarital counselling to make sure that you have important discussions before getting married. It is so important to wait and sift through for a man that you are 100% sure of!
9. You don’t know what you want
This makes the assumption that because of ones age they are unable to make rational decisions. This is simply not true! My husband and I discussed marriage for months prior to getting engaged and knew from the beginning that we were dating for marriage. Having the mindset that you are dating for marriage will help you sift out exactly what you want.
10. You will need financial support
Getting married young does not mean you will need financial support from your families. Especially if you learn to live frugally. Getting married young taught me a lot about money management and how to make a dollar stretch. You may not always have the newest car, clothes, or fancy home. But what does that truly matter at the end of the day. In my post Tips For Becoming a Homemaker | Homemaking 101 I discuss more about living frugally.
11. You are missing out on your 20s
As I am writing this post I am currently 26 and have to say I am not missing out on anything. In fact I am spending what many call their “best years” making a life with my husband. Getting married does not mean your life ends, you just get to share those experiences! Now that we have little ones I enjoy those experiences so much more through their eyes!
My favourite marriage books
Check out these other marriage posts on the blog
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